When I was working as a leader in tech, I remember feeling internal pressure to stay genuine–I didn’t want to say or do something inauthentic or just for show–while needing to navigate the complexities of leadership and advancement in my organization.

I also wanted to be heard above the louder, more extroverted voices in the room.

Because, while I wanted to be genuine, I was also ambitious.

I needed to find a way to be authentic, genuine, and ambitious at the same time. I call this kind of executive, people like me who want to bring their real selves to the table, and who also want to find success in their organization, purposeful achievers.

Purposeful achievers believe in our teams and larger organizations, and that we are all operating together – or if not, that we must find a way to operate together.

We believe in abundance.

Genuine leadership is about building genuine relationships, not transactional ones, and it requires genuine interest.

While it might not be edgy to say, to combine authenticity with ambition, it would serve you well to start by paying attention to your relationships.

I’m not advocating leaders become best friends with everyone in their organization, but they can create authentic and genuine relationships with anyone, even those they disagree with or don’t feel a connection with.

My own experience as a leader and a coach has taught me there are three core elements that must be included when building authentic relationships.

• Ask questions and listen actively to the answers. Find out what the other person is trying to achieve and gain an understanding of their context and their challenges.
• Be open to learning more and changing your opinion based on conversations with others.
• Get to know others as people. What do they do outside of work? What makes them tick? Share a bit about yourself.  Invite them to coffee to have conversations outside formal meetings.

Showing someone else you see them, inside and outside of work, is the difference between a genuine relationship and one of convenience or necessity.

You may not like everyone with whom you create a genuine relationship, but relating genuinely is not predicated on liking, it’s based on our showing up authentically, with a desire to know people on a deeper level where they feel seen and heard.

I’m reading the book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert Cialdini in which he posits there are seven principles of influence.

We often think of influence in the same category as ambition.

That somehow authenticity and influence can’t go hand in hand. But we are influencing and being influenced all day long without necessarily realizing it.  I believe that influence can be cultivated to be both positive and authentic.

Caldini states, “A well known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have a reason for what they do.”

It’s imperative, for those of us who want to be genuine leaders and show up at work in alignment with our values, to understand the principles of influence so we can be intentional about using them, and so we can understand and work with some of the larger influential dynamics at play in within our organizations. If we don’t embrace influence, we are leaving our ability to realize our ambitions up to chance.

Giving people a reason isn’t just a good tactic for getting a desired result, it’s an authentic way to include others and help them understand our motivations as leaders. It’s a way to build relationships, not undermine them. 

When we take into account influence and the potentially negative connotation it has, it can feel like we have to choose between being authentic or being influential and ambitious.

I’m here to tell you that it’s not a choice you have to make. I learned during my career to be all three.

I’m here to help leaders like you turn being authentic, influential, AND ambitious into a strength that leads to creating greater impact and building the career you want.

My approach is not a quick fix.

I don’t believe quick fixes work to make lasting change, build genuine relationships or grow careers.

What I do have is the experience to take you where you want to go, authentically, with steady, forward progress that’s in alignment with your values.

I meet you where you are, without judgment and we go from there.

Are you ready to be authentic and ambitious? Let’s connect.